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Pater Poels helpt uit woede

door Anita de Haas en Joke Knoop


‘Pater Poels’ begon ooit met het opvangen van daklozen in Tilburg, waarin de Brabantse stad nog altijd vooroploopt. In zijn strijd tegen de armoede fietst Gerrit Poels (81) nu elke nacht door de stad om gratis brood te bezorgen.

Pater Poels helpt uit woede Alweer twintig jaar stapt Gerrit Poels elke nacht op de fiets om de armen van de stad brood te bezorgen. Weer of geen weer. En nooit overdag: Poels zoekt de donkere uren op omdat zijn klanten zich schamen. “Sommige dingen kunnen het daglicht niet verdragen,” zegt hij op bezwerende toon. Overdag deelt hij in zijn achtertuin het dagelijks brood met honderd gezinnen die wel hun gezicht durven te laten zien. Het brood is het overschot van de Tilburgse bakkerijen.

Gerrit Poels is de oprichter van Huize Poels (nu Traverse), de daklozenopvang in Tilburg. In 2000 eindigde Gerrit Poels als tweede bij de verkiezing van de Tilburger van de Eeuw, achter de legendarische vakbondsvrouw en wethouder Miet van Puijenbroek. Een jaar later riep de KRO hem uit tot ‘Nederlandse held’. Hoewel Gerrit Poels al in 1969 uit het klooster trad, staat hij in zijn woonplaats bekend als ‘pater Poels’. Zijn vrouw Angelique heet even vanzelfsprekend de ‘vrouw van pater Poels’.

Woede
Gerrit Poels is een beminnelijk man, de lach gereed om de lippen, de voeten ondanks de winter in sandalen gestoken. Hij vertelt met vuur over de noden van ‘zijn volkje’, over zijn ‘krankjorume leven’, over zijn drijfveren. “Dat is niet zo positief hoor. Een van mijn grote drijfveren is niet de liefde voor de mensen, maar mijn woede.”

Als woede uw drijfveer is, zit er dan elke nacht een kwaaie pater Poels op de fiets?
“Ja, eigenlijk wel. Woede speelt een hele grote rol. Ik ben boos op de mensen die een ander sturen naar een punt waar die ander niet wil zijn. En die het hem onmogelijk maken om daaraan te ontsnappen. Ik zie dat vaak in het lot van mijn volkje. Dat wekt mijn woede én het inspireert mij.”

U heeft een bewogen leven achter de rug. U was kloosterling, bent uitgetreden en getrouwd. Ziet u de worsteling in uw eigen leven terug bij de mensen die u ontmoet?
“Ja! Al wat ik aan conflicten signaleer, heeft te maken met mijn jeugd. Ik was voorbestemd om pater te worden, omdat ik goed kon leren en omdat elk groot katholiek gezin werd geacht een priester te leveren. Ik woonde tot mijn twaalfde in het dorp Berg en Dal bij Nijmegen. In 1941, precies op de dag dat mijn vader mij naar het kleinseminarie van de Rooi Harten bracht, donderde mijn moeder in elkaar. Dat was vreselijk, en ik dacht dat het alleen mij overkwam. Ik verging van de heimwee en ik leerde me verbijten. Ik verhardde. Pas later kwam ik erachter dat veel knapen van mijn leeftijd ernstig hebben geleden onder die breuk met thuis.”

Uw ‘voorbestemming’ als priester was de keuze van uw vader, niet van uw moeder?
“In die tijd had een vrouw geen vinger in de pap. Mijn moeder is helaas meegegroeid in de opvatting van mijn vader. Haar verharding heeft zich later op een dramatische manier geuit. Ik trouwde op 7 mei 1969, een dag later verongelukte mijn broer. Mijn moeder koppelde zijn ongeluk aan mijn uittreden. Ik mocht niet op zijn begrafenis komen. Ik ben er stiekem geweest, op een stoeltje achter in de kerk, en was meteen na afloop weer weg. De enige manier om die afwijzing van je moeder te overleven, is de wijze waarop wij leefden: met de zorg voor honderden mensen die verkeren in wisselende, soms onoplosbare situaties. Het heeft twintig jaar geduurd voordat mijn vrouw en ik mijn moeder onder ogen konden komen, en dat gebeurde op initiatief van mijn broers en zussen. Dat heeft me altijd veel pijn gedaan.”

Bent u uit het klooster getreden omdat u verliefd was?
“Het zal meegespeeld hebben, maar het was een ingewikkeld proces dat zo’n acht jaar heeft geduurd. Het Tweede Vaticaans Concilie heeft me open gemaakt. Dat je je als religieuzen waar moest maken te midden van de mensen en niet achter grote kloostergevels met dogmatisch gedoe en uiterlijke praal. Het maakt je tegelijk onzeker: waarvoor heb ik het die tijd allemaal gelaten? Dat voelde als een onrecht. Die innerlijke strijd is versterkt door omstandigheden. Ik was leraar Nederlands op hetzelfde seminarie. Ik was een goede leraar, maar het seminarie liep leeg en werd samengevoegd met een andere school. Niemand in het klooster bood me iets anders aan. Niet zonder reden: ik was niet de gemakkelijkste en ik hield mijn mond niet. Toen werd ik godsdienstleraar van kleuterleidsters in opleiding. Ik was een slechte leraar. Ik moest een leer verkondigen waar ik niet achter stond. Daarmee groeide het innerlijke conflict. Ik gaf veel retraites en daar kwam ik religieuzen tegen met dezelfde twijfel.”

Wat gaf voor u de doorslag om uit te treden?
“Er was geen doorslag, alleen de vraag hoe eraan te ontkomen. Een vrome kloostergenoot wees me op de hulpcentrale in oprichting. Met vijf mensen die ik kende van de retraites sloten we ons aan. Op 1 mei 1968 trokken we in een beschikbaar gesteld pand in de Poststraat. Op die dag hoorden we dat de oprichting van de  hulpcentrale was uitgesteld. Dat was een ramp: daar zaten we, zonder verdiensten. We zijn maar begonnen, want de mensen kwamen wel.”

Daar begon uw werk voor anderen?
“Ja, al na tien dagen kwam er een man die vroeg of we konden bemiddelen voor een kamer. Omdat het niet meteen lukte, bleef hij slapen. De volgende dag informeerde ik bij de wijkagent; toen bleek dat de man werd gezocht. De vogel was natuurlijk op tijd gevlogen, maar bij de politie ontstond het misverstand dat wij mensen opvingen. Binnen de kortste keren hadden we negentig overnachtingen per maand. We konden alles, we deden alles. We waren krankzinnig bezig, en ik was de grote gestoorde. Iedereen was welkom. We hadden een gouden formule: opvang zo lang als nodig en zo kort als mogelijk, en de mensen mochten altijd terugkomen. Als ze weer zelfstandig woonden, verloren we ze niet uit het oog, maar zochten we ze thuis op. Intussen moesten wij – vijf niet-verdieners – in het begin schooien om eten. We kregen het van koks van kloosters – daar zat God achter – en we kregen brood via een bakkersdochter.”

Daar zat God achter?
“Ik ben wel blijven geloven. Het is alleen niet het uitdraagbare geloof meer, eerder het eetbare geloof.”

Even terug naar uw geliefde. Uw vrouw kwam ook uit het klooster.
“Ze was van de orde van de Zusters van Liefde. Ik kwam haar tegen bij een retraite, toch had ik niet meteen een relatie op het oog. Dat leefde niet bij mij. Angelique was een van de mensen die meegingen naar de hulpcentrale. Op een gegeven moment sloeg de vonk over. Ik weet niet of het bij haar liefde op het eerste gezicht was. Ik heb het voor mezelf zo geformuleerd: zij was een van de Zusters van Liefde op het Eerste Gezicht.”

Bent u er gelukkiger door geworden?
“Op een bepaalde manier wel. Zoals wij getrouwd zijn, zoals wij leven, werken, is wel vreemd, unheimisch. Op dit terrein is ze een veel hardere werker dan ik. Ik leef op de terugtraprem en zij kan sjouwen. Of we samenwerken? Niet echt, wat zij doet, doe ik weer niet. Ze heeft onze zes pleegkinderen grootgebracht (eentje woont nog thuis) en ze werkt met een groepje bejaarden. Of de kinderen geslaagd zijn? Het zijn zes hoofdstukken – twee hoofdstukken zijn af, de rest is in wording.”

Hoeveel mensen heeft u in de loop van uw leven opgevangen?
“Dat weet ik niet. Bij Huize Poels zijn er tot 1990, het jaar dat ik opstapte, meer dan dertienduizend inschrijvingen geweest. Daar zijn veel doublures bij, want ze mochten wel veertig keer terugkomen. Na mijn vertrek vatte ik het plan op hen te bezoeken, want met de afschaffing van het huisbezoek was de vernieling, de bureaucratisering begonnen. Instellingen worden door subsidiegevers afgerekend op resultaten. Grof gezegd: wil je in de reguliere daklozenopvang Traverse worden opgenomen, dan moet je bijna de oplossing onder de arm meenemen. Op die manier ga je mensen selecteren en sluit je een groep uit waarmee geen enkel resultaat is te behalen. Eind jaren tachtig waren er de allochtone vrouwen bijgekomen: nog hopelozer en hulpelozer, gevangen in de interne terreur van hun man. Man verslaafd aan de coke, slaat alles kapot en toch kan de vrouw zich niet van hem losmaken. Sinds mijn vertrek heb ik me gruwelijk bemoeid met dat zooitje. Het was onbeschrijflijk wat er in de jaren negentig in Tilburg gebeurde: mensen leefden in kuilen, in kelders, in benzinepompen. Ik bezocht hen, bracht brood mee.”

Jeuken uw handen dan niet om in te grijpen?
“Dat kan niet. Ik accepteer dat het zo is en dat ik er al zeventien jaar kom. Ik doe wat er gebeuren moet. Ik oordeel niet. Ik los niets op, ik houd in leven. Ik kan niets ongedaan maken. Er zijn mensen bij die genadeloos zijn overgeleverd aan wie ze zijn. Zoals? Een stel dat sámen een IQ van honderd heeft.”

U zult vaak weet hebben van criminele activiteiten. Brengt u dat in gewetensnood?
“Nee. Het niveau van weten is zo laag. Dat kun je niet met gewone normen meten. Ik heb moeite met de overheid die mensen het huis uitzet zodra een hennepplantage is ontdekt. De overheid wil  de mensen in het gareel houden. Ik handhaaf ook, ik handhaaf dezelfde mensen op een andere manier. Mijn kernwoord is troost. Troost bieden is ook een drijfveer.”

U ziet ook mensen opkrabbelen?
“Mijn volkje schuift voortdurend op. Als het ze beter gaat, laten ze weten dat het brood niet meer nodig is. Duizenden mensen zijn er nu beter aan toe, hoewel het nu weer lastig wordt.”

U bent 81 jaar. Hoe lang blijft u dit nog doen?
“Tot ik erbij neerval. Ik zorg niet voor een opvolger. Ik leef nu in gestrekte draf, en als de draf eraf is, gaat het wel op een andere manier door. Op basis van mijn mogelijkheden is het een klungelig leven. Ik had belangrijkere dingen kunnen doen, maar het kleine hoort bij mij. Ik vergelijk het met een tienbaansweg. Die wordt vierbaans op weg naar een stad. Naar een dorp wordt het tweebaans, naar het gehucht loop je langs een karrespoor. Daar ligt een konijn in de greppel te stuiptrekken. Ik ben bij het konijn gebleven, en dat geeft vrede.”

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Feiten uit het leven van Gerrit Poels

Gerrit Poels, 81 jaar, geboren in Berg en Dal bij Nijmegen. Tweede in een gezin van zeven kinderen. In 1941 gaat hij naar het kleinseminarie van de Rooi Harten (MSC) in Tilburg. Daarna studeert hij theologie en filosofie. In 1955 wordt Poels leraar Nederlands aan hetzelfde kleinseminarie, vervolgens godsdienstleraar aan de opleiding voor kleuterleidsters in Tilburg. In 1967 sluit hij zich aan bij de nog op te richten hulpcentrale in de Poststraat. Vandaaruit begint hij met vier anderen de opvang van daklozen. In 1969 treedt hij uit en trouwt hij met Angelique, een eveneens uitgetreden Zuster van Liefde. Ze brengen zes pleegkinderen groot. Het opvangcentrum Huize Poels verhuist achtereenvolgens naar de Nieuwlandstraat, naar de Ringbaan Zuid en naar de Gasthuisring. De naam verandert later in Traverse. Poels is medeoprichter van eethuis De Pollepel, Blut en kringloopbedrijf La Poubelle. In 1990 vertrekt Poels bij Traverse en roept hij de Stichting Broodnodig in het leven. Hij brengt ’s nachts brood naar de armen en verstrekt overdag brood in zijn achtertuin – Nederlands eerste ‘voedselbank’. In 2000 wordt hij tweede in de verkiezing van Tilburger van de Eeuw, een initiatief van het Brabants Dagblad. In 2001 roept de KRO hem uit tot Nederlandse held. In 2009 verschijnt zijn levensverhaal in boekvorm: Een dwaas  bestaan, geschreven door Arjan Broers.


Foto: Joris Buijs/PVE


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